2005 Shepherds

2005 Shepherds' Conference, A Ministry of Grace Community Church 818.909.5530. © 2005 All Rights Reserved. Grace Community Church. A CD, MP3, or tape cassette copy of this session can be obtained by going to www.shepherdsconference.org

A Passion for Purity
Helping Your Young Men Overcome Lust and Immorality
by
Bill Shannon
(2005 Shepherds’ Conference #33)

Father, thank you for this conference, for the men, for R.C. [Sproul], for John, for Al, as they bring forth those keynotes’ messages to us. Would you use them in each of our lives, as we see the importance of the strength of the church starts with the men in the church, and so we just pray, Lord, that you would raise up a generation of men who love you and who are called to serve you and called to hold forth to the truth. We pray these things in your name, Amen.

I don’t know about you, but when I was growing up, there was a television program called “Lost in Space.” How many remember that? Do you remember what the mechanical robot used to say? “Warning, warning, warning, Will Robinson!” Well, that’s what the day is about. This is warning, warning, warning - men who are the leaders in the church. We need to be warned because this is a call for a passion for purity.

There are many, many men that are falling in ministry. I just, unfortunately, last week, got an email from one of the organizations that I’m involved with, and a man in the Midwest fell. He fell morally. He fell because he was indulging himself with boys. This is a man in the ministry, a man who would call himself a Christian, a man who would preach the Word of God, a man who would teach the Word of God, and that happens. And we see those kind of things and we’re led into those kind of temptations so we need to heed the warning, gentlemen. It’s not just us. We have the name of our lord Jesus Christ to uphold, we have the sake of our ministry’s to uphold, we have the stability of our families to uphold, if not the Lord Jesus Christ’s church, [and] Himself.

Please, sit down right in the middle of the center aisle, here. We used to do that at Grace Church years ago. This is the church that John started in when he came here to preach and eventually they had these aisles filled with people sitting down there. So, don’t worry about it.

I would like to set the stage, as we get started here, with how immense the problem of sexual perversion is in our country and in our churches. These are just some statistics I’ve picked up over the last few weeks.

An average, listen to this, an average of 900 new pornographic sites accepting credit card purchases are added each week to the internet. Nine hundred new sites! According to Michael Bradshaw, the president of “X-Stop,” which is an access blocking service down here in Anaheim, California – he says this: “Pornography is responsible for the largest volume of sales on the internet.” Not eBay, not Amazon.com, not any of those, not books, not any of those kinds of things, but pornography.

Think that’s bad enough, Hollywood, which, you’re here in California, releases 400 new films each year. The pornography industry releases 800 movies per month. Per month! The domain, business.com, sold for a record breaking 7.5 million, while, in a recent court case, sex.com was valued at sixty-five million dollars. Pornography at a minimum, and I say, at a minimum, is a 10 billion dollar a year business. Americans alone rent over 800 million adult videos each year. Last year, in 2004, the pornography industry, which is located in southern California - matter of fact, right in the San Fernando Valley – released 11,000 new titles to pollute an already polluted society.

Sixty Minutes reported this, that the largest hotel chains in the U.S., including the Hilton, Hyatt, Sheraton, and Holiday Inn, make most of their in-room profit from the sale of pay-per-view porn, with half of all guests purchasing erotic videos. This statistic is mind-boggling but when you go back to your hotel room tonight and you think about the hallway that you’re walking down, every other room is viewing pornography – every other room. Some say that there isn’t anything wrong with internet relationships since there isn’t a consummation of a physical relationship, therefore, there is no sin, and, it is adult entertainment. First assumption that is wrong is that it’s adult. It’s really juvenile. The second is that it’s not an offense against a holy God.

Open up your Bibles to Matthew chapter five. We can see the seriousness of the sin right there in the words of our Lord Himself. In Matthew, chapter 5, starting in verse twenty-seven, He says this: “You have heard that it is said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” That’s how serious our Lord thinks about it. How serious should we think about it? How important is it to us? “If your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out and throw it from you. For it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body than for the whole body to be thrown into Hell.” Years ago I heard this story, which is a confirmed story: a young man was struggling with pornography. So he took a bee-bee gun and he shot his right eye, taking this text out of context. He realized he could still see with his left eye, and he eventually took a bee-bee gun and shot his left eye. He now is mostly blind, but he found out, that, still, lust was a struggle for him, because lust is not in the eyes, lust is in the heart. And you have to deal with the heart. Unfortunately, he had to learn the hard way, but we can learn the easy way, making sure we take to heart what’s said today: “Warning, warning, Will Robinson!” We have to keep that in mind.

So the first warning we’re going to have today is that this is not a minor situation. This is a serious situation. You’re here because you serve the Lord in some capacity – maybe you’re an elder or a deacon, maybe you’re a pastor – you’re known in the community as a man of impeccable character, because of where you’ve put yourself, and you cannot compartmentalize your life; you cannot compartmentalize your sin. You need to look at what the Lord’s words were here and take them into your heart.

Men, sexual sin is a direct product of a man’s character, and only as that. It’s not that it’s private; it’s not something you do as adult entertainment. Secret sin is dealt with, and it can cause a character to even change.

1. Warning number one: 1 Corinthians 10:12 , you can just write that down, I’ll read that for you, but 1 Corinthians 10:12 – we all know that: “Therefore, let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall.” We need to hear that warning, we need to stand, we need to make sure that we’re listening. But some men would say, “Not me.” But this verse says here, “Take heed,” and it’s to all of us. All of us need to take heed. You who think you stand, you too can fall. The greatest of men have fallen. Don’t be prideful. Don’t think you cannot be tempted, because you can.

I remember when I was in seminary, and Dr. John Gersner came to speak to us, and he talked about men falling morally. And I naively sat there and said, “He doesn’t know the men here and how godly they are.” I naively thought that. And it wasn’t but months later, and I hear of someone from our seminary falling or another man in ministry falling. Take heed lest ye fall. We’re prone to lust. John Gersner wasn’t a prophet, now he knows for sure because he’s in Heaven with our Lord, but we’re prone to lust, we’re prone to deceiving ourselves, and prone to giving into temptation.

Well let’s look at the word “lust” - it’s epithemea. And it’s really a simple process when it comes to lust. There’s an attraction for something, there’s an object that we like, there’s on object that we desire, there’s something we want. But in sexual lust, it turns to fixation, and, once completed, it leaves the person ungratified, discontented, because the appetite is really never satisfied, but it continues to grow, and it gets worse and it gets worse. Epithemea is made up of two words: the preposition, epi, which is “upon” and the noun, thumos, which is “passion” or “passionate longing”, the epi being a compound, which makes it even stronger – it’s not just “passionate longing”, but it’s a “strong passionate [longing].” That word is used for good things too. It’s good for a man to “desire” or to “lust for” (desire) the office of an elder, but in the context that I’m going to be speaking about, it’s where it’s not good.

Scripture is full of warnings for us, as men, and especially in the area of sexual sin. If only men would listen, then we wouldn’t hear of the great number of church leaders who have fallen.

I remember before I came on staff here I was a salesman, and hearing of church leaders, there was one right after the other, there was three of them, one right after the other, that fell. And I’m a Christian salesman and so when people would see me out there and they knew my testimony, they would say, “Oh, there goes another one of your guys fallen.” I said, “You know what? That’s a good warning for me that I not enter into or go in that direction as those men have done.” I said, “I’m glad that it happened, not to them, but I’m glad that it happened that so I could hear it and understand it so that I don’t go there.”

We are prone to fall to the wiles of the devil, and he knows exactly where we live. And so we need to be careful that we deal with those things in our lives. It says this in 1 Peter 5:8, “Be sober in spirit. Be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion seeking someone to devour.” And who better than the leaders of God’s church? To see them fall, to see them crumble? Because if the leaders crumble, if the shepherds crumble, the sheep then have nowhere to look, the sheep then are disorientated, and the sheep then begin to feed in the wrong pastures - because of what happened to their leaders.

Brothers, it is vital that we are called to alertness. Peter uses two imperatives here, he says, “Be sober,” and he says, “Be alert.” This is a call to immediate action. It’s something we need to take care of in each of our lives - not letting our minds wander, not letting our minds use their imaginations in the wrong places. The lives of the leaders of God’s flock should be characterized by self-control. You need to be busy about the business that God has called you to and not lounging around as David did sitting on his roof and looking out and then being tempted with a women. “Your adversary” makes it very personal. It’s personal for you. It’s a personal battle and you have a personal enemy. Who is that enemy? He is your adversary and he’s called “Diablos”, the devil. He then is in the business of relentlessly being on the prowl in search of victims. Who better to be victims than the leaders of God’s church?

You should emblazon, if you would, Job 31:1 on your mind: “I have made a covenant with my eyes. How then could I gaze upon a virgin?” Job 31:1. Men, even a momentary glance, or looking, or longing, is detrimental to your character, and it will keep you going in that direction unless you stop it. You can say something to yourself, “I can’t go there. Don’t even think it.” Satan knows that is where it begins. It begins in the “eye-gate.” Satan reaches into the heart of men with his lies, and he has many avenues in which to tease and to tantalize men. Usually, it isn’t the internet where it gets started. It begins in your daily newspaper as you’re looking at advertisements – sometimes even the sports page. Not only does Satan prowl about, but also he is seeking someone to devour. This speaks of total destruction of the victim as Satan harasses and lowers his victim into the net of sin. “Like a roaring lion” portrays how determined the devil is, how determined Satan and his adversaries are against the church of Jesus Christ. He prowls around seeking to take down those believers that are in opposition to his plan. The system of the world has been flooded with smut to lure men away from devotion to Christ.

I’m supposed to go to Croatia in another month. They want me to speak on the family and then want me to speak to the men privately at one point. And I said, “Do they have a problem with pornography over there?” Yes, they do. He says, “They have billboards, they have all kind of things that are pornographic.” And so do we, men, in our own neighborhoods. For the unbeliever it is just natural to go down those paths, but for the believer, it is a battle, and we need to win the battle.

Websense.com looks at key Internet usage. And, before I started to go on it, that’s my office over there, I called up our IT department and I said, “Look, I’m going to try to find out some statistics on pornography, and I’m not wanting to go into a site, but I don’t know where I’m going sometimes.” I wanted to make sure they knew that. I found this websense.com and it gives the usage of Internet pornography. Seventy percent of internet pornography is done between nine and five each day. That means men, and women, are using it and doing it in their offices seventy percent of the time.

So it’s not at home. Why isn’t it at home? Because they’ve got somebody there to keep them accountable and they don’t want to do it in front of that person. So they do it away from their spouse. A survey that was taken a few years ago at a Promise Keeper’s gathering of approximately 1500 professing Christian men revealed that half of the men there had viewed pornography the previous week. Not the previous year, but the previous week, they had viewed pornography. A few years ago I was speaking to a college professor, and he told me that twenty percent of the college age young men in his ministry had come to him to confess the usage of viewing pornography on the internet. He said, “Bill, the worst thing about it is those are the only men that came forward.” Twenty percent. He said, “I have no idea how many more are doing it.”

It’s rampant. Pornography is available, it’s readily accessible, and no one needs to know about it. You can do it and use it and nobody even knows about it. It’s not like the old days where they were behind the counter and they were rarely ever seen by anybody – they, as a matter of fact, they even had a brown wrapping around it – and you didn’t purchase it because it left a stigma that somebody would even do something like that. But now there’s no stigma. It’s become removed. It’s due to the lessening of our inhibitions and it’s because of the Playboy era mentality that we have now in America. Here, in the Midwest, they have the stops off the freeways – off the interstates – where they have whole pornography shops and things where they’re opening up.

Complicating the problem, for those of us who work with men who have this problem, is that it has enslaving tendencies. Notice what I said there – enslaving tendencies. I didn’t call it an addiction, because it’s not an addiction, but it’s been brought about by the computer age because of the interactivity that goes on in the computer, the colorful graphics, and all of that, and it causes and brings about habits of usage, that men have. Entertaining and pornography are just the next step to the deadly sin of getting involved with another person. Computers also keep things simple, keeps things convenient, calls it private. It is a non-relational way to realize sexual fulfillment. It doesn’t take any work with the person that you’re relating to, and the other person doesn’t have a headache. You do not need to serve them, you do not need to show them love, you do not need to cater to their needs, and you do not even need to remember their birthday or the anniversary. Some downplay Internet pornography, saying, “It isn’t a major problem because it doesn’t hurt anyone. It’s private.” But by what standard do we call lust a problem? Your’s or God’s? And we already looked at Matthew five.

The process of lust is simple. It begins with attraction, it turns quickly to dissatisfaction with your current situation - you become dissatisfied with your spouse or with the one that you are supposedly in love with - it moves to fixation on another and you become ungrateful, discontented, and obsessive. You become filled with lust, and your thoughts and your mind are filled with images of the other person. You have nothing on your mind but an appetite for them. This person becomes on object of worship. They eventually are not even considered a person, because they’re an object, and you’re just looking for satisfaction.

Gentlemen, this is classic idolatry: putting something or someone ahead of the Creator. Sexual sin is idolatry as it puts our desires for satisfaction through a person instead of God. Jonah 2:8 says this: “Those who regard vain idols forsake their faithfulness.” Brothers, they forfeit grace, and they become like what they worship. They become vile. I’ve dealt with some men, in these kinds of situations, with an insatiable thirst for pornography, and it’s one of the most difficult things to break. I think it’s almost as difficult as drug addiction, of true, physical addiction.

The beginning of the problem of sexual lust starts with the times of opportunity. When does it happen? It doesn’t happen while in church, obviously, when you’re listening to the Word of God. It happens when on you’re on the road and you’re watching in the room service or the movies. You can view whatever you want, you can make your choice to see whatever you want, as a matter of fact, your bill won’t even show which movie you watched. Sometimes it’s emails. I’ve been getting emails lately, and, I didn’t realize this, but I have preview page on my Internet Outlook, and I didn’t know I could shut it off. I’ve been getting these emails about “come and meet so-and-so here” – I don’t know where they come from – but I’ve been getting them. And so I can just delete them. But now, all of a sudden, they have pictures on there. And so I complained to our IT department and I said, “How do we filter these things out?” We’ve got all kinds of filters coming in. There are all kinds of filters, but I asked, “How can we keep this stuff out?” And they said, “Well, you have a preview page, so shut it off and you don’t have to see it.” And I didn’t even know it. Gentlemen, if you have a preview page, shut your preview page off. And when you see something that comes from somebody you don’t know you delete it. You don’t have to read it. It comes those ways toward us. Men, it can be as simple as the thought that crosses your mind when one of your congregants, maybe one of the widows, maybe somebody who’s single – she wears something that’s attractive – and you get sucked into thinking wrong thoughts and you begin to go in the wrong direction. That’s warning number one.

2. Warning number two: Matthew 5:27- 28, we already heard that, but it says this: “…You shall not commit adultery. But I say to you, that everyone who looks at a woman to lust for her has committed adultery in his heart.” Even your desires, even if they’re only mental desires, they are sinful, and, frankly, that is where you need to stop it because those mental problems that we have, those ideas, those imaginations of the mind, are just opportunities waiting to be fulfilled, and with the wrong or the right situation they could be fulfilled. The person who is serious about sexual sin deals with it now, not when he is fantasizing about it. The person who’s in a sexual problem now and gets caught like that gentleman who I got that email about a few weeks ago, his problem started years ago. He just got caught now. And when I hear that somebody has fallen into adultery, that’s not where they started. They started somewhere else. God gives us enough grace for each day, so we need to take advantage of the grace that he gives us for today. Adultery or fornication is the fulfillment of the thoughts in pornography – It just isn’t happening with a real person in pornography. But it is sin, nevertheless, and it’s a serious sin.

Turn with me to Genesis 39. We have my Old Testament hero here in Genesis 39. And you look at verse seven, starting in verse seven, and it’s talking about Joseph. We all know the situation that happened there: “And it came about after these events that his master’s wife looked with desire at Joseph and she said, ‘Lie with me.’” In other words, “Come have sex with me.” “But he refused and said to his master’s wife, ‘Behold, with me here, my master does not concern himself with anything in the house, and he has put all that he owns in my charge. There is no one greater in this house than I, and he has withheld nothing from me except you, because you are his wife. How then could I do this great evil and sin against God?’” Not even against Pharaoh, or the leader, there, but “sin against God”. “As she spoke to Joseph day after day, he did not listen to her, to lie beside her or be with her. Now, it happened one day that he went into the house to do his work, and none of the men of the household were inside, she caught him by his garment and said, ‘Lie with me,’ and he left his garment in her hand and fled and went outside.” Question, can you say that you cold hold up and resist in that situation? Day after day she said that. Can you say then in your mind you wouldn’t begin to dwell on the opportunity? Can you say in your mind you wouldn’t run out the door, you wouldn’t lock it behind you? You could say, “Well, maybe I’ve done it once,” but will you continue to do it day after day? Something to note about what Joseph did here: he ran and he never turned back. He didn’t see if he had gone far enough, he just kept going and going and going. And the New Testament tells us, “Flee youthful lusts.” “Flee youthful lusts.”

Everyday, Christian young people forfeit purity for the worldly and temporary satisfaction of sexual stimulation. I can’t tell you how many times in pre-marital counseling it is discovered that either they have been actively involved with one another or with someone else, prior to finding them as a partner, and I ask, because I think it’s important to ask before I marry them, are they getting married because they like the sex they’re having or are they getting married for the right reasons, because they truly love one another? And hopefully they’re honest enough with you.

Would you turn with me to another scripture in Romans chapter 13, starting in verse 11. I like this passage for a lot of different reasons, and you’ll hear why, but in Romans 13:11, it says, “Do this, knowing the time, that it is already the hour for you to awaken from sleep. For now salvation is nearer to us than when we believed. The night is almost gone, and the day is near. Therefore, let us lay aside the deeds of the darkness and put on the armor of light. Let us behave properly, as in the day, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual promiscuity and sensuality, not in strife and jealousy, but put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts.”

I don’t know if you’ve ever thought of it this way, that while we’re here on earth, it’s a time of dress rehearsal for when we’re in Heaven. It’s dress rehearsal for when we’re in Heaven. Accordingly, then, how are we preparing for that time in Heaven? Here we have a text that is clearly eschatological, speaking of the end times, and at the same time, it is a clear cut warning on sexual promiscuity – that we shouldn’t be involved in it. The end is near, and the people of God are to respond with appropriately pure behavior. It says here in verse 11 that “the hour for you to awaken from sleep”. Gentlemen, this is a call to awaken from moral drowsiness. We allow those things into our hearts and into our minds much too often. First Thessalonians 5: 6-7, says this: “So then, let us not sleep as others do, but let us be alert and sober. For those who sleep do their sleeping at night and those who get drunk get drunk at night. Make no provision for the flesh. Maybe it means you don’t watch television anymore. Maybe it means that you have to cut out sports events, or at least shut off when the commercial comes on – whatever it may be. Maybe it’s no internet because you can’t control your sexual appetites. Certain routines need to be changed because they bring temptation, and maybe certain people need to be graciously removed from your life.

What’s the anatomy of sexual idolatry? Again, I say this, I want to keep reminding you: lust is the opposite of love. We, as Christians, are told to love one another, not lust one another. Lust for pornography has one simple goal, gentlemen—it’s to masturbate (I can say that in this context, I think), sex with self so that you do not have to invest yourself in another person. That’s self-fulfillment, that’s self-centeredness, that’s self-gratification, that’s not “thinking of others more important than yourself” – that’s Christianity.

Those who have a terrible time with pornography aren’t addicted as much as it is a problem of self-centeredness. They are enslaving tendencies, but it is self-centeredness. There is an inability or a laziness in beginning and sustaining relationships. There’s a problem with relationships, and I think you’ll find that every time you deal with a man, you’ll find that he has difficulty having relationships. Matter-of-fact, he’s probably very critical of other people, too. That’s what that sin tends to do. They are really committed to serving themselves. They find convenient and easy ways to remain alone. There is an unwillingness to die to self, which is a clarion call to Christian life - we are to die to self, and they are unwilling to do that.

Lust will eventually lead to isolation, since it is done in secret, a person desires to keep it from others, so it leads to a life of self-centeredness, of selfishness, of pride, and eventually to anger. Lust usually involves other kinds of sin. It involves deceit, it involves lying, it involves blame-shifting, and blaming it on the wife – I can’t tell you! One day, I was dealing with a man and a women in my office, and he had a terrible lust problem, and in my office, he began to blame it on his wife! I’m almost jumped over my desk to wring his neck. I mean, I really wanted to do it, I was holding the bottom of my desk – to blame it on his wife! They had a number of children, so I know that she was not “holding out on him,” so to speak, but it was him, and he had a lust problem. He went on to say that everyday he came home from work he stopped in a porno shop on the way home. And I said, “Is there another way to go home?” And he said to me, “Um, no there isn’t.” I said, “Could you please bring me a copy of the Thomas Guide of your neighborhood and how you get home?” A Thomas Guide, for those who don’t know California, shows you the streets you can go on. He got the idea. He did bring it in, and I showed him a dozen ways that he could go home and wouldn’t have to go near the porn shop.

The flesh is always demanding more and is always ready to blame somebody else. Lust is never a secret sin, gentlemen, either. That’s the other thing. Some people think, “Oh, it’s a secret sin.” Before the One who really matters, before the One we’re supposed to be caring about, before the audience of One – God knows. God knows. God doesn’t even punish outwardly on every occasion of sinful lust because the consequences are built right into the act itself, with a true believer. One day I was counseling a gentleman who had been caught in adultery, and with his wife there, and I said to him, “Are you willing to give up this other women?” He said, “No”. With his wife right there, he said, “No. I enjoy this situation.” His wife wanted him. His wife wanted to continue in the relationship with him. She did not want to give him up. She was going to be a 1 Peter 3 woman even while he is disobedient; she’s going to be that gracious wife and take it, I guess, at that point. And I said to him, “There’s one of two things that is going to happen. Either you’re a believer and God is going to punish you, or you’re not a believer and you’re going to Hell. That’s the only two options here.” And he said, “Okay, I’ll take them.” So we wound up doing church discipline on him. But that’s the heart of man when they become enslaved in those situations to lust.

Shame and guilt are a natural part of the person who engages in sexual perversion. Proverbs 5:20 and 23 says this, “For why should you, my son, be exhilarated with an adulteress and embrace the bosom of a foreigner? For the ways of a man are before the eyes of the Lord, and He watches all his paths.” God knows exactly where we go in our minds, as well as with our feet. The believer who thinks that he can continue to hide his private sexual sin will discover that God cannot be mocked, and God will not allow that sin to continue. Proverbs 28:13: “He who uncovers his sin, God will cover, and he who covers his sin, God will uncover.” It will come out at some point, gentlemen. It’ll either come out in the halls of your heart or in the halls of Heaven. But it will come out. It will be shown. Matthew 6:23 says this: “But if you eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness.”

Sexual sin never comes out of the blue. When you read about a pastor who has failed morally in his ministry, it is not the first situation or the first issue. If nothing else, he has sinned in his mind on numerous occasions. The eye lingers. The eye takes a look. The mind begins to wander. My friends, the battle begins in the mind, and that is where it needs to be won, if we’re going to serve the Lord Jesus Christ.

Where does lust come from? Does it come from the images on the billboard, or Sports Illustrated swim-suit magazine, or a Victoria’s Secret ads? No, it comes from Mark 7:21. In Mark 7:21-23, it says this: “For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed the evil thoughts, fornications, thefts, murders, adulteries, deeds of coveting and wickedness as well as deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, and foolishness – all these things proceed from within and defile the man.” It’s our nature. It’s what we do, as men. It’s what we think. Sexual sin never comes out of the blue. Proverbs 4:23 says (you can just jot that down) that we’re supposed to be watching over the springs of our heart, the springs of our life, where those things are coming from.

The initial step into this kind of sin, as it is with many, is through the imagination of the mind, contemplation of an object, a person, or maybe a thought entertained. James 1:14-15 says this: “But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust, then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin, and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death. That is not a good consequence, gentlemen. That’s the summation of sexual sin. You’re tempted, you’re carried away, you fall into sin, and it’s death. It’s death. Randy Alcorn - I don’t know if you heard of this book, it’s called The Purity Principle, it’s a little, little book, you can read it, I don’t know, in an hour or two – he says this, “Actions, habits, character, and destiny all start with a thought, and thoughts are fostered by what we choose to take into our mind. That’s why the most important sex organ is your brain. That’s the most important sex organ: your brain.

Lust is an escape. You worship the temporary pleasure over the worship of God. Sexual pleasure is sometimes the relief from misery - a bad marriage maybe, but why is it bad? That’s what I would like to ask. I wonder if you served your wife – and I’m not talking to you directly, gentlemen, but to maybe men that you’re working with – but if they served their wives more than they served themselves, maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad marriage. Maybe she wouldn’t be a nag.

3. Warning number three: brothers, God doesn’t want leaders of His church to engage in illicit sexual practices. His will for you is your sanctification. That is what Hebrews tells us, and Hebrews 12:14 tells us that without sanctification, no one will see the Lord. So let’s heed the words of the apostle Paul as found in 1 Thessalonians 4, and you can turn there, 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8. It’s all over the Bible. It’s amazing. We see it everywhere – of this warning. And it says there, “For this is the will of God.” This is God’s will for you. You know, some people ask me, “Pastor, what is God’s will for my life?” So I did a four week series on the will of God, and I didn’t tell them that they couldn’t buy the car, I didn’t tell them that they were supposed to move to San Francisco, or anything like that, but I told them these kind of passages. This is the will of God for your life – your sanctification. He wants you to become holy. He wants you to grow in holiness. That is, “that you abstain from sexual immorality, that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in lustful passion like the Gentiles (or the unbelievers) who do not know God, and that no man transgress and defraud his brother in the matter because the Lord is the avenger in all these things, just as we also told you before and solemnly warned you. For God has not called us for the purpose of impurity, but in sanctification. As it says here, “For the will of God is your sanctification.”

How, specifically, is this, then, to happen? It says here, as you “abstain from sexual immorality” – pornea. Pornea is sexual sin of almost any kind. It doesn’t specifically get into pornography but it could also include that. This word here has meaning of illicit sexual intercourse, specifically, and at this time, to the Thessalonian church and to this whole culture, sexual perversion was woven right into their religious activities – not into Christian religious activities, but religious activities. Sexual impurity was common during this time, and they had thoughts of, obviously, sex outside of marriage and there being nothing wrong with that. As a matter of fact, in the temple at Corinth, there were 3,000 religious harlots there, just at the beck and call of men as they came in. As a matter of fact, when I was in Israel a few years ago, they have pillars, columns, and on the columns was pornography telling you where you could go for this prostitute, or for this person, and it showed you in the picture what they do. And I was shocked. I thought we had gotten better, but we’re getting worse. We’re just as bad as they are. John MacArthur said this in one of his commentaries: “Christians must not lower themselves to a level of pagan sexual behavior determined merely by unthinking passions and uncontrolled fleshly lusts. Because of their intimate relationship with a holy God, believers must not subject themselves to an ungodly society’s vast array of sexually immoral temptations. Overexposure to such temptations will only lower one’s resistance and diminish one’s outrage.” Did you get that? Overexposure – and we’ve been overexposed—this weakening spiritual resolve, and then, virtue.

Scripture warns God’s children to stay away from and even to flee all immorality. Lustful thoughts and feelings can lead believers to actions that are completely incongruous with their position in the body of Christ. “Warning! Warning!” Paul says that we are to abstain – we are to completely and thoroughly stay away from sexual immorality. Sexual perversion violates the principles of God’s Word and results are devastating – devastating to the family. I’ve had to deal with children that have heard about their father’s sexual perversion, that have caught their father on the internet or watching movies, or things like that.

A seminarian once told me that he had difficulty in this area. He came in for some counseling, and so one day I was with Pastor MacArthur, and I said, “John, what would you do in this situation?” And he said to me, and in just very simple terms, “If he can’t get out of pornography, he’s got to get out of the seminary, now.” You don’t coddle somebody like that. You cut it off. You stop it now. Because when you’re in your office, and you’re a pastor, and there’s no one around, you’re certainly going to indulge yourself at that point. I told him, “You can’t have your wife come in and open up your page for you every day and check out your internet. It’s just not going to work.” In verses 4 and 5 of 1 Thessalonians, Paul is indicating the scope of this restriction of sexual perversion. It says their vessel, their body, was to be kept in sanctification and honor, and not in lustful passion like those who God did not know – the pagans. The man in lustful passion is allowing his body to rule him. His desires, his cravings are completely out of control.

Purity is something that can be learned. That’s what the people that you deal with, the men and even the women that you deal with – purity is something that can learned. It is something that they can grow in. As they grow closer to the Lord, they will grow in their purity and their desires. Purity is not the momentary impulse, but it is the habit of a response to circumstances. It’s the habit of response to circumstances. When those circumstances come up, where do you go? Where does your mind think? What do you begin to pull up on your screen in your mind? Molton and Milligan indicate that the verb in this passage suggests the meaning is “gradually obtain the complete mastery of the body” – gradually learn to deal with it. That’s what it’s talking about. Paul’s warning here is that you exercise control over your lusts.

Paul gives the consequences of what happens when a man or a women crosses the line in sexual sin. In verse 6, the apostle tells us that “no man transgress and defraud his brother.” No man should take advantage of another man’s wife. I think back to the time when I was a salesman, I mentioned that already, before I was on staff and I had the west coast as my territory, and I was driving down to San Diego. I’d get up at four in the morning and drive past all the traffic before people were awake and got started. And I’d stop in Dana Point and have breakfast. And so I’m down there having breakfast this one morning, I bring my Bible in, I’m sitting at the counter, and this waitress begins to throw food at me, basically. I mean, she’s just tossing the plate at me. I said to her, “Ma’am, did I offend you some way?” And she pointed at the Bible. I said, “I’m sorry, I was just reading my Bible.” She said, “Well, years ago, I was married to a man who was a pastor.” You can fill in the rest of the blank here. “And this man became very attached to one of his counselees, and that pastor ran off with that counselee.” Now, this woman hates God, hates the Word, and didn’t even want to discuss anything about it. It’s not just shattering one life, but it’s shattering many lives. “The children hate God too,” she told me, “The children hate the Word too.” If the leader of a church uses his familiarity or his friendship to gain sexual favors, he has overstepped the bounds and he has defrauded his brother. He has defrauded his brother.

The second warning in this text is that “God is the avenger.” I wouldn’t want Him as the avenger against me. If the person is a believer, they will receive a consequence. There will be, obviously, a loss of eternal reward. You could look at 1 Corinthians 3:12-15, and 2 John 8. These are warnings that there will be a loss of something in eternal reward. That’s if he’s a believer. I have some other warnings for you. In verse 7, Paul gives the positive reasons that you should not indulge in sexual immorality: “You have been called by God for the purpose of purity and sanctification.” God has called us to holiness. We are to be different than the world. When, sometimes, the world looks in at the church, they wonder, “Is there anything different?” It looks like the Kiwanis Club or it looks like the Lion’s Club, or something else along those lines. But Paul is very appropriate here in leaving a little holy burr in the saddle. He says this: “So, he who rejects this is not rejecting man, but the God who gives His Holy Spirit to you.” You have the Holy Spirit indwelling you. You are His, and, if you have the Holy Spirit, you’re supposed to be having the fruit of the Spirit – love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Those are supposed to be part of the outflow of your life.

So the so-called Christian who lives in sexual sin on a regular basis, I’d like to take him to Galatians chapter 5. Would you turn there with me? Galatians Chapter 5, verse 19. It says, “Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are immorality, sexual perversion, impurity, sexual thoughts, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife – and we’re not going to deal with those today – but those are the things that are the deeds of the flesh. But look at verse 21 with me: “Of which I forewarned you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the Kingdom of God.” I got to tell you. If somebody says that to me, I want to take an account of my life because I do want to inherit the Kingdom of God. And if you’re a Christian, for the man that is dealing with these kinds of men that have these kinds of perversions and they continue in them and they continue to practice them, then I go to this text and say, “How can you say that you’re a Christian?” I once had a man come into my office, and he told me he loved the Lord and he came to church and all those kinds of things, but on occasion, and on a regular occasion, he’d go to the bath houses in L.A., and he’d do his thing there, and then he’d feel guilty and he’d come in and see me. I eventually took him to this passage and I said, “You’re practicing these things. How can you say that you’re a believer? I don’t know, but I want you to take an account. You’ve got to stop this stuff. You cannot continue to do these things.” You could also look at 1 Corinthians 6:9 and 10, it says basically the same thing.

4. Warning number four: Proverbs chapter 5. You knew I’d have to get there. Here it is. We’ve been all over the Bible, New Testament, Old Testament, now, the wisdom of Solomon being passed onto his son –trying to tell his sons that they shouldn’t be involved in sexual sin. And he says in verse 1, “My son, give attention to my wisdom and incline your ear to my understanding.” Now, gentlemen, this is coming from a man who had three hundred wives and seven hundred concubines. I don’t get it, but, you know, this is the Word of God, and I’ve studied Solomon a little bit, and I went through the whole book of Ecclesiastes. I think at the end of his life, which Ecclesiastes is the end of his life, he got it. I think he got it at that point and said, “Oops. I see. I forgot about God in between.” And he says this: “That you may observe discretion and your lips may reserve knowledge, for the lips of an adulteress drip honey and smoother than oil in her speech, but in the end, she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death, her steps take hold of Sheol.” Gentlemen, the warning there is that you’re going to go down to death. You’re going to be taken in. You’re going to be perverted, in a sense.

Don’t put yourself in the place of sin. If you do not put yourself in the place of sin, you do not have to ask your Father to help you with your temptation. You don’t have to go to 1 Corinthians 10:13, “No temptation has overtaken you such that is common to man, but God is faithful to give you a way out.” You don’t have to go there if you listen to verse 12, 1 Corinthians 10:12, “Take heed, lest ye fall.” Don’t even go to the place where you can be tempted. Don’t indulge your eyes. Don’t indulge your mind. Look at verse 7: “Now then, my sons, listen to me and do not depart from the words of my mouth, keep your way far from her, and do not go near the door of her house.” Don’t go into that neighborhood, don’t go into the internet sites or those kinds of things that could possibly get you there. “Oh, I’m just going to look here,” and all of a sudden, you’re popping in somewhere else. “Keep your way far from her and don’t go near the door,” or, “Do not give your vigor to others, or your years to the cruel one, and strangers will be filled with your strength, and your hard earned goods will go to the house of an alien.” I heard about a man, actually, I knew the man, that he had become involved in adultery. And it says here that you lose your wealth, you lose your self-respect, and maybe even get a disease. But this man got involved in adultery and he fathered a child with another woman, and so that his wife wouldn’t find out about it, he began to pay that woman’s husband off. He was bankrupt in a few years and then he took his life. That’s what falling into those kinds of situations can do. He took his life.

Proverbs 6:23, and you can look at all of Proverbs 5, 6, and 7, but Proverbs 6:23 says this: “For the commandment is a lamp and the teaching is a light. For reproofs, for discipline are the way of life.” This is the main point, folks. The one who commits adultery destroys himself and is going to be dealt with by God. Maybe you don’t get caught by your wife, but you will be caught by God. Proverbs 7:22 says this: “Suddenly, he follows her as an ox goes to the slaughter or as one in fetters to the discipline of a fool.” Many victims are taken up in this. I deal with a lot of men here, and I deal with friends who’ve gone out to ministries who then ask me questions about different situations.

5. Warning number five: Gentlemen, there’s one last warning, and I know that you’ll just let me be indulged in this because the context of this particular passage in Romans 1, verses 18 and following is really the context of an unbeliever. It’s not that for the believer, but I think the believer needs to hear it. I think the believer needs to see that maybe they need to heed 2 Corinthians 13:5 which is that they need to examine themselves to see whether they be in the faith. “Test yourselves. Or did you not know that you are His? I think we always need to do that; we always need to examine ourselves. But Romans chapter 1, verse 18: “For the wrath of God is revealed from Heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who suppress the truth in unrighteousness, because that which is known about God is evident within them, for God made it evident to them. For since the creation of the world, His invisible attributes, His eternal power, and His divine nature have been clearly seen, being understood by what has been made so that they are without excuse,” and especially those who are in the church, since they hear the preaching of God’s Word. “For even though they knew God, they did not honor God as God, or give thanks, but they became futile in their speculations and their foolish hearts were darkened.”

The first steps toward destructive sexual idolatry are found there. When you are saved, the characteristics of your life are a love for Christ, a love for His Word. John 15:5 says this: “I am the Vine, you are the branches. He who abides in me,” in other words, he who stays in Me, “and I in him, he bears much fruit; for apart from Me you can do nothing.” While you remain in that particular state, in your love for Christ, under his control, you are fruitful. You are in harmony with Him. You are in harmony with the Savior. If you are not abiding in the Lord, as it says in verse 21: “They did not honor Him.” Sexual sin, getting involved in that, is dishonoring to the Lord. It is not thanking Him for your salvation and it sends a man or a woman down the spiral of moral degradation. And by the way, I am seeing more and more women involved with pornography, and sexual perversion.

The person caught in the web of sexual sin has an attitude of ungratefulness. When you take your eyes off Christ, and you begin to worship the object, it speaks of being dissatisfied with God. As John Piper says, “He no longer is your all in all.” Verse 21 of Romans 1 continues, “But they became futile in their speculation and their foolish hearts were darkened.” Sexual sin takes a person down the road of no return, without true repentance. They begin to look for something other than God to satisfy them, and their thinking and their doing become dark and clouded. They become dark and clouded with the thoughts of sexual pleasure rather than God pleasure. His imaginations and his plannings become oriented in how to fulfill his lusts. Failure to glorify God and give Him thanks will lead one’s mind to become darkened. You know, I heard this, that Chuck Swindoll used to do this - when somebody came to complain about things, and they were just angry about things in the church – he’d say to him, especially if it was a man and he was alone, “Are you masturbating?” I heard this. Hopefully it’s not on tape – ah, it probably is. He’d ask that and you know what? The guy more than likely was doing that. Their thoughts become darkened. They don’t see. They’re not illuminated with the Word of God. They don’t have God’s thoughts any longer, so they can complain about a lot of things. Now that’s not to relieve the complaining people in your church, but, just think about it, if you’re ever bold enough to ask that question. John MacArthur said this in his Romans commentary: “The foolish heart that rejects and dishonors God does not become enlightened and freed, but rather becomes spiritually darkened and further enslaved to sin. Spiritual darkness and moral perversity are inseparable. When man forfeits God, he forfeits virtue.” He forfeits virtue.

The more you give in to sexual sin, the more enslaved you become to sexual sin, and the more your mind is overpowered with its lusts. The eroticized soul becomes a toxic waste dump, and the toxin begins to leak into other areas of life. You will see that person become angry, depressed, they will begin to worry, and lying becomes a thing of nature to them. They still may be able to preach, or to lead other men, they may even be in worship on Sunday, but they have become compartmentalized in their Christian life. What happens is that Christianity becomes an event – Sunday morning, Wednesday evening, Sunday evening, if you have a Sunday evening service – it becomes an event. It’s not a life experience. It’s not all of their lives, it’s just vignettes of Christianity. The truth of God’s Word becomes suppressed in the sin that has overtaken this man’s life. No one who is viewing internet pornography is walking in the Spirit, for sure. Sexual sin is a beast that cannot be tamed. It has to be killed.

I don’t know if you heard about that tiger that we had loose out here. Some of the people were angry that that tiger was killed. Had that tiger killed a child, I wonder if they would have thought the same thoughts. That’s like the beast of pornography – it has to be killed. You can’t tame seven hundred pounds of tiger. When you feed the beast, it grows, but once it is slain, it dies. When the Lord says, “Pluck out your eye,” he means, seriously, not that you physically take your eye out, but means, cut off the sin. Stop it.

Romans 1:22 says this: “Professing to be wise, they became fools.” Beloved, in the midst of sexual sin, most men think they will not be discovered. They continue in their charade, but, if they are a true believer, the Lord will not allow them to continue in their sin—they will not. But God will see that they will be found out. They are foolish to think a holy God would allow them to defile the image of God. We are the new temples and we are to be pure. First Corinthians 6:18 says, “Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body but the immoral man sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own?” You are not your own anymore. You have been bought. It’s no longer I who live, but Christ in me. The illustration that Paul uses here harkens back to Ezekiel and the images of the pornography that was in the temple at the time, and in Romans 1:23 it says, “They exchanged the glory of the incorruptible God for the image.” That’s what happens. We begin to look at the image as being more important than God.

Just some key headings here and then I want to move down to what do you do – but some key headings here.

Sex is from God. He gave it to us as a gift. It’s a wedding gift. That’s what it should be for – the wedding night – is for the pleasure of the husband and the wife. Jeffery Black, in an article in the Journal of Biblical Counseling said this: “Sexuality is a spiritual act, not a biological one. It’s not a problem of dealing with our drives, but of sanctifying our hearts. Sex is for the pleasure of your spouse (1 Corinthians 7:1-4). Your body is not your own, it’s your spouse’s and they are to have and do what they want with it, and you are to be able to give and satisfy them.

Sex outside of marriage is destructive. Ephesians 5:3-5 speaks to that issue, and it’s interesting how Paul starts in Ephesians 5:3-5 and then moves into the family right after that – he begins to talk to the family. So they had issues there. It says, “But immorality or any impurity or greed must not be named among you, as is proper among saints. And there must be no filthiness, or silly talk, or coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks. For this you know with certainty, that no immoral, impure person, or covetous man, who is an idolater, has an inheritance in the kingdom of Christ with God. That’s a warning, gentlemen. Then he talks about the family, the importance of the family.

Sexual sin has at its genesis a lie – that you are needing it, that you need to have the stress and the pain removed. Sexual sin will be exposed. Numbers 32:23: “You may be sure that your sin will find you out.” That’s Numbers 32:23. Galatians 6:7-9: “And do you not know that God will not be mocked?” I’ll just put down Galatians 6:7-9 and Proverbs 28:13.

What do you do? You’ve got a man, you’ve got a guy that you’re dealing with and you want to try to help him. That’s my desire. I’m wanting to strengthen that man so he can become more useful to God in the kingdom building. That’s basically what I’m trying to do as a counselor here at Grace Church, as a pastor, as a shepherd, is to make them more effective for kingdom building. What do you do?

1. Number one: you make sure that the man admits it. Admit. These are all going to be A’s, because I’m a pastor and we have to do it that way. “Admit” – take full responsibility. “Your heart is desperately wicked and not to be trusted” – Jeremiah 17:9. It says in 2 Timothy 2:2, “Flee youthful lust and pursue righteousness, that’s what we need to do. Repentance is the key. We need to make sure that there is fruit of repentance. We need to see that in a man’s life. Real change does not happen until the sinner is willing to open up his heart, or her heart, and be exposed to the light of God’s Word. Repentance is that one hundred and eighty degree turn; there needs to be a change. I once had a discussion with John and he said to me, “Repentance needs to be as loud as the sin was.” Oh wow, that’s good. I said, “John, can I use that?” He said, “Sure.” That’s good. Repentance needs to be as loud as the sin was. The man needs [more than] - “I’m sorry. Please forgive me.” And then they want to move on, right? That’s what the guy always wants to do – He wants to move on. No, no. Let’s talk about it. What are you doing about it? How are you handling it? I have a gentleman that I’m working with right now, and his wife caught him – internet pornography. And I’ve got to tell you, I have not seen anyone turn around as quickly and as thoroughly as he has, because he wants God to change his heart. It’s not me as a counselor. It’s the Word of God, and it’s do they believe it and do they want to live it? That’s what’s important. It’s never you. You are adequate to do that; we’re all competent to counsel.

Gentlemen, it’s easier to avoid temptation then to resist it. That’s what you got to tell them. It’s easier to avoid temptation. Admit that you need God’s help and stay away from the near occasion of sin. Admit that you need to depend upon the Lord, and not it’s not in your strength but it’s in His strength. First Corinthians 10:13 is very vital at this point – “No temptation has overtaken you such that is common to man and God is faithful.” Listen to this, the output in your life is in direct proportion to the intake of Scripture truth. The output in your life is in direct proportion to the intake of Scripture truth. I once had a gentlemen say to me, when I was counseling him, “But you get paid to study.” I said, “You know what? There’s a whole lot that I study that I don’t get paid for. There’s a whole lot that I read that I don’t get paid for. I’m not trying to get paid for it. I’m trying to honor God.” And you can do it. I said, “Look, if I was to give you a million dollars a day for your study of the Word of God, would that get you started?” And he said, “Oh, sure.” I said, “Well, guess what? You’re going to have more than that in Heaven.” Number one: “admit.”

2. Number two: “accept.” Accept that you have bought into the lie of fulfillment from sex outside of marriage, whether it’s an image or whether it’s another person. Remember that these sexual fantasies never satisfy and only God can satisfy. True joy and pleasure only come from the Lord. They don’t come from an image. They don’t come from an object. Our worship of God is what it is satisfying. Accept that you have not learned to deny yourself. And as I read the Gospels, it says to deny ourselves, pick up our cross daily, and live for Christ. And if that is what it says in the Gospels and that’s what Jesus said, we should be doing that, and you’ve not learned it yet, and you need to learn it. You need to see that you have a lack of self-control, and that’s one of the fruits of the Spirit. You need to begin to put off your sin to be able to put on self-control. Accept that you don’t care about your ministry, accept that you don’t care about your marriage, accept that you don’t care about your family or your relationship with God, because if you did, you wouldn’t do this. Accept it, and then do something about it. You’re priority has been in fulfilling your own desire, and not in denying yourself. Accept the reproof of others, when others want to reprove you, and then repent. You can jot these verses down: Proverbs 13:1, Proverbs 13:18, Proverbs 15:5, Proverbs 15:31-32, and Proverbs 17:10.

So we have “admit”, we have “accept”.

3. The next one is “alter.” A-l-t-e-r not a-l-t-a-r, we’re not talking about marriage here. Alter your lifestyle. Protect yourself by changing your routines - your places of sin, and you’re thinking. If you go into your room and you do your Internet pornography in there, in your study, put your computer out into the kitchen, let your children see what you are doing. What you dwell on in your mind and what you worship – change it. Begin to feed your mind with the appropriate righteous thoughts. Think about some Scripture, begin to memorize some Scripture, meditate upon Scripture, and “Take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5). Think on the things above and not on the things of the earth, remember that you’re only here in a dress rehearsal ready to go to Heaven, and that one day you’re going to have to present yourself before the Lord. “Think on what is good, and right, and holy, and of good repute” (Philippians 4:8). Once you set your mind on these things, think about Colossian 3:5 where it says that “you are to put to death immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and greed, which amounts to idolatry.” Kill it. Kill it. My friends, your relationship with God must be established first. All attempts to remove magazines and movies and internet are good, but your mind must be held captive to the things of Christ. Galatians 5:16, “Walk by the Spirit and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh.” Walk by the Spirit. Love Christ more than you love yourself. It says in 2 Corinthians 5:14, “For the love of Christ controls me, knowing what he has done for me.” You should have a healthy fear of God also. Proverbs 14:27, “The fear of the Lord is a fountain of life that one may avoid the snares of death,” So, we’ve seen “admit”, we’ve seen “accept”, we’ve seen “alter.”

4. And now “alleviate” temptation. Alleviate temptation. Job 31:1, and we’ve looked at that before, “I’ve made a covenant with my eyes. How shall I gaze upon a virgin?” Any degradation into sexual sin started with a thought, it started with an imagination, it started with a temptation, began to fester like gangrene, and brought forth death. We become captivated. It says this in 1 Corinthians 6:18: “Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body.” In 2 Samuel 11:2 it says this: “Now, when evening came, David arose from his bed and walked about on the roof of the king’s house, and from the roof he saw a woman bathing, and the woman was very beautiful in appearance.” David not only saw the woman, but he acted on his impulses. You are to stay at a physical proximity to those kinds of temptations. You don’t need to go down to sleaze-town to witness to people at nine o’clock at night, in the dark. You don’t need to do those kinds of things. You’ve put yourself into temptation. Psalms 119 - there’s one last one before this time runs out – but Psalm 119 says this (I’m not going to read the whole Psalm), starting in verse 9: “How can a young man keep his way pure? By keeping it according to Your word. With all my heart I have sought you; do not let me wander from Your commandments.” Pray the prayer. Pray it. “Your Word I have treasured in my heart, that I might not sin against you.” God needs to be more important.

5. The last “A” is “accountability.” Accountability - and I don’t ask a man’s wife to become the accountability partner because I think that can bring trouble in other areas. I try to find another man or I do it myself in accountability, but a wife doesn’t need to do that. Realize that your testimony is at stake, the name of Christ is at stake, the church of Jesus Christ is at stake. Lust is a liar. It’s only temporary. Christ is eternal, and the pleasures of Christ are for eternity. Do not give into yourself. Don’t give into the opportunity. Don’t find yourself in compromising situations, whether it’s with a secretary, a friend’s wife, or any other situation. A lady once wanted to show me evidence of her husband’s using of pornography. I said, “Sorry, I don’t need to see it. I don’t want to see it. I believe you. I don’t need to see it.” I walk away from those kinds of things. Find another man - Years ago, when I was in seminary, our wives happened to be out on Tuesday nights, and it was regularly that that happened, and I had a seminary student call me up and he said, “Bill, can I call you up every Tuesday night when our wives are out? I need to talk with you and just pray with you so that I don’t do something that I wouldn’t want to do.” – Watching television of some kind or whatever, I don’t know what it was – but that’s what we did. You can find somebody like that, somebody who cares, somebody who is concerned.

I think I have time for one or two questions. I wish I had more time, but there was much to say, and, I’ve got to tell you, I left out a lot. I did. I skipped over Proverbs 5, 6, and 7. I could have gotten into that in a more significant way. Do we have any questions? Anyone want to venture? I see one hand there – nice and loud.

Accountability? Accountability is if somebody comes in, the young man that came in, or his wife brought him in because of his…I give him a call once in a while. I have him come into my office once a month and we work on that. Now, I’m going to start working on his marriage because, obviously, there was something wrong in the marriage for him to begin to do that – something that he wasn’t doing – and so we begin to talk about those issues. But that’s accountability. It could be just a phone call. It could be when you’re tempted – I’ve done this with drug addicts or alcohol problems – I give them my cell phone number, I don’t give it to everybody, and I say, “When you’re tempted, give me a call. I’ll even drive to where you are if I have the opportunity and take you out of there.” That’s accountability. Addiction, to me, is a physical addiction, such as alcohol. I don’t believe that there’s a physical addiction to sexual sin. I believe it’s a heart problem and a heart issue – it’s a sin issue. When you’re talking about a physical addiction to cocaine, I had a fellow I worked with who was smoking crack/cocaine, that’s a physical addiction. You need to maybe have a time six months away from the drug and dry out physically. That’s not the same thing with sex. You know, Bill Clinton did not have an adulterous gene that made him do it, Bill Clinton did it because his heart was filthy. That’s the distinction there.

[About the wife being the accountability partner?] I don’t particularly like that because then he could be saying things to manipulate his wife to have sex with him or manipulate her to forgive him and those kinds of things, so it just stays away from that opportunity to manipulate. Or, it could be on the other way, he makes her feel bad because she’s not adequate like this other women who he sees on the internet, or this prostitute or something like that. That’s why I don’t want that kind of accountability. It should be a man so she can’t be used.

Added to Bible Bulletin Board's "Shepherds' Conference Collection" by:

Tony Capoccia
Bible Bulletin Board
Box 119
Columbus, New Jersey, USA, 08022
Our websites: www.biblebb.com and www.gospelgems.com
Email: tony@biblebb.com
Online since 1986