SURROGATE MOTHERS A. Introduction Today in America there is a move toward the use of surrogate mothers for those couples unable to bear children. Simply put, the surrogate mother is artificially inseminated by the Husband of the woman who is unable to conceive. Usually there is a contract signed that makes both parties legally bound to the conditions of the agreement. However, there is still much debate today about the rights of the various parties involved despite the contract. This brief discussion is to provide a review of some considerations that a Christian couple should pray about before either trying to utilize a surrogate mother or allow themselves to surrogate for someone else. B. Biblical Perspective 1. God's Sovereignty over Conception God has revealed to us in the Scriptures that He is the one who opens and closes the womb. If a couple is married and are Christians and God has not opened the womb then I would caution them to be very careful in seeking alternate ways of obtaining children. Often it is not the right time for children. Likewise, Christian couples should be sure that God is leading them to avoid the conception of children prior to deciding to use birth control. a) God closes wombs 1) Genesis 20:18 "...the Lord had closed up every womb in Abimelech's household..." 2) 1 Samuel 1:5 "...the Lord had closed her womb..." 3) 2 Samuel 6:16,23 "...Michal daughter of Saul watched from the window. And when she saw King David leaping and dancing before the Lord, she despised him in her heart...And Michal daughter of Saul had no children to the day of her death." b) God opens wombs 1) Genesis 25:21 "Isaac prayed to the Lord on behalf of his wife, because she was barren. The Lord answered his prayer, and his wife Rebekah became pregnant." 2) Luke 1:7,13 "But they had no children, because Elizabeth was barren; and they were both well along in years...the angel said to him, 'Do not be afraid, Zechariah; your prayer has been heard. Your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son...'" 3) 1 Samuel 1:5,10,20 "..the Lord had closed her womb...Hannah wept much and prayed to the Lord...So in the course of time Hannah conceived and gave birth to a son." 2. Man's Use of Surrogates Man has used the surrogate method of obtaining children in times past. The only real difference from today is the method of insemination. a) Gen 16:1,2,4 "Now Sarai, Abram's wife, had borne him no children...so she said to Abram, 'the Lord has kept me from having children. Go, sleep with my maidservant; perhaps I can build a family through her'...He [Abram] slept with Hagar, and she conceived. When she [Hagar] knew she was pregnant, she began to despise her mistress." b) Gen 30:3 "Then she [Rachel] said, 'Here is Bilhah, my maidservant. Sleep with her so that she can bear children for me and that through her I too can build a family.'" C. Cautions 1. Costly a) Time 1) The insemination process can be rather lengthy requiring many trips to the doctors office. Those agencies that arrange the use of surrogates often have a childless couple in one city or state and the surrogate mother from another state or city. This helps when after the birth that the original mother has no accessibility to her natural child. But for the insemination procedure this will cause the surrogate mother to travel long distances many times a month trying to become pregnant. 2) Another consideration is that the surrogate mother is pregnant for nine months which is a considerable length of time. And the physical effects of the birth may linger for many months afterward depending on the type of birth. b) Money There is usually a large sum of money paid to the surrogate mother for her part ($15,000). The couple that hires the surrogate will of course pay all bills for the pregnancy (which could total $25,000 plus). 2. Dangers a) Physically Natural childbirth can be fatal in a minority of cases and must be a consideration for surrogate mothers. Of course, if the mother needed a "C" section in order to remove the child, then the risk factor goes higher. Also a number of births result in the sterility of the mother and must be a price she is willing to pay. b) Emotionally It is inherent in the pregnancy that the mother will develop a emotional relationship with the baby she bears. This is designed by God for a lasting mother-child relationship. To have to immediately "give up" the child to another couple is very costly emotionally. In nearly all cases of surrogate mothers there is a grieving process that begins when the child is "given up." Some surrogate mothers say they have never stopped grieving. c) Socially 1) Creates an unnatural relationship between the Father (donor) and the surrogate mother. Even though they would have had no sexual relationship they still have become "one flesh" in one sense by producing a child together. If the two persons live in close proximity and see one another on a regular basis then an adulterous relationship could result because of the special bond that they have because of the child. The sterile wife may also feel estrangement from her husband because the child is from her husband and another woman. 2) Society may also place a stigma on the surrogate mother for its perception of "selling babies." Although some surrogate mothers may do it for reasons other than money, they may still be branded as someone willing to sell their child for a price. d) Possible Complications The following are possible problems that could arise that would cause real distress for all parties. 1) Custody Battles Surrogate and Couple a> What would happen if the child was retarded or had physical problems requiring special medical expenses or care for the rest of his life. Would the couple refuse the child? Would the surrogate mother abort the child if she is aware before the birth that problems exist? b> What if the marriage later broke up; then who would the child go to? To the natural mother? To the natural father? Or to the mother who did not bear the child? The same questions could come up if there was a death of a parent. c> What if the surrogate mother refused to give up the child when he was born? Many courts could side with her rights as the natural mother even charging the father child support payments. 2) Custody Battle Initiated by Child a> What if the child later rejected the adoptive parents and wanted his rights to have his natural mother? b> What if a Christian surrogate mother bears a child and the other couple fails to raise the child in the Lord, would the natural mother feel any responsibilities for the spiritual direction of the child? D. Conclusion It is my personal opinion that the use of surrogate mothers should be avoided by all Christians. God is able to open and close the womb at will. There are too many problems involved with the surrogate process that could cause conflict for the Christian. The joining of a man into a relationship with a woman outside of his own marriage and the resultant child would be harmful to the God ordained one flesh marriage relationship. While I most strongly advise against surrogate mothering, I most certainly believe that adoption and medical procedures to aid in conception are valid options. However, let me add a few comments with this. First, we are again assuming a Christian couple. A couple that is walking with the Lord and seeking His Kingdom and His Righteousness would be "Delighting themselves in the Lord," and could therefore take confidence, in the fact that God is giving them, "The desires of their heart" (Psalm 37:4). If they have a desire for children but are unable to conceive, then they should prayerfully consider adoption and medical procedures. But, and this is so important, they must make sure that any medical procedure that involves "In Vitro Fertilization" be avoided. "In Vitro Fertilization" is the process where the egg of a woman is join with the sperm of a male in a laboratory test tube. The problem arises in that numerous fertilized eggs are destroyed in the process of trying to get one that will be "just right." Each fertilized egg that is destroyed is a human life! As long as procedures such as these are avoided then I would encourage a Christian couple, who want have children but have been unable to conceive, to try Adoption or safe medical procedures. Bible Bulletin Board internet: www.biblebb.com modem: 609-324-9187 Box 318 Columbus, NJ 08022 ....online since 1986 Sysop/Webmaster: Tony Capoccia