The following "Question" was asked by a member of the congregation at Grace Community Church in Panorama City, California, and "Answered" by their pastor, John MacArthur Jr. It was transcribed from the tape, GC 1301, titled "Bible Questions and Answers."  A copy of the tape can be obtained by writing, Word of Grace, P.O. Box 4000, Panorama City, CA 91412 or by dialing toll free 1-800-55-GRACE.

Question

If someone marries secretly, what is God’s view of their sex relationship?

Answer

Let me answer that this way.  In the first place, God doesn’t acknowledge, generally speaking, “secret marriages.”  Marriage was never intended to be something you hide; it was intended to be a commitment and a vow to two people in front of the whole world, right?  Public.  The Old Testament weddings were public.  They had a feast.  Everybody came.  If somebody married secretly, number one, I’d say they were probably out of will of God.  Probably their families were against it or probably what happened was somebody got pregnant and they ran off and got married in secret to try to cover it up and didn’t want to announce the date because then they would be able to figure out by the calendar that they were pregnant before they were married.

But, I don’t think God wants people married secretly!  I think God wants people to make public vows so that the world will hear their commitment!  That’s why people don’t get married today anyway; they just live together because they don’t have to make a commitment and you can turn your back and walk away from it.  That isn’t God’s intention.  God’s standard for marriage is always the normal custom of the day of the country you live in.  Anything less than that does not constitute marriage.  And God would see sex, in that kind of a thing, I think, as—if there was no real marriage, if, by this question, the person means some secret, mystical marriage performed in the woods by some hippie—that’s no marriage at all.  If, on the other hand, it’s a run to Las Vegas type thing and you have a legal document and it’s legal in the country, yes, God would see it as a legal marriage.  Yes, he would see the sex act as a legitimate thing in that legal marriage.

If it’s legal and follows the normal custom of the day, I think God accepts that as marriage.  But, if it doesn’t—if it’s some specialized, clandestine arrangement, then I don’t think that’s the thing God sees as a true marriage.  The New Testament really hits on the sanctity of marriage: Jesus began his miracles at a wedding!  And I think by doing that, he approved of them and in essence was saying, “This is the normal thing.  I approve of this.” 

Added to Bible Bulletin Board's "MacArthur’s Questions and Answers" by:

Tony Capoccia
Bible Bulletin Board
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