The following "Question" was asked by a member of the congregation at Grace Community Church in Sun Valley, California, and "Answered" by their pastor, John MacArthur Jr. It was transcribed by Nelly Kaye of Chilliwack, British Columbia, Canada, from the tape, GC 1301-H, titled "Bible Questions and Answers Part 10." A copy of the tape can be obtained by writing, Word of Grace, P.O. Box 4000, Panorama City, CA 91412 or by dialing toll free 1-800-55-GRACE. ©1978. All Rights Reserved.
Question
A brother and sister in Christ, here in our church, apparently, have separated,
divorced, and remarried--against the instruction of the Scripture, against the
instruction of other brothers and sisters, against the instruction of the
church. It ended in them being separated from our fellowship. The question then,
"When, if at all, can they be restored to fellowship and how?
Answer
It is true, when someone goes against the teaching of the Word of God
willfully, goes against the teaching, instruction and ruling of the elders, they
will be put out of the church, that’s what the Bible says for the purity of the
church.
Well, let me answer the first question, can they be restored to fellowship?
What’s the answer? The answer is can God forgive sin? Yes, yes they can be
restored. And even though they divorced in a non-biblical manner, even though
they remarried in a non-biblical manner, and even though there will be
chastening, believe me there will be chastening, because wherever there is sin
there is chastening. There will always also be in the heart of God forgiveness
and restitution wherever there is repentance. So the first thing we have to
understand is that there is no sin too big for God to forgive. There is no evil
too despised by His holiness, that He can not take the sinner back who comes
repentant.
Now people say, well, if they repent do they have to then leave and go back
to their original partners? No. That would really be something. That would be
trying to unscramble the egg. It couldn’t be done. Repentance, and I believe
that repentance demands an overt, verbal confession to the church, at least in
part, some of the church, of the sin involved, and a turning from a sinful,
willful heart attitude, to an attitude of righteousness that seeks to serve God.
In Galatians 6:1, we have we have the right scripture to apply. “Brethren, if a
man be overtaken in a fault, ye who are spiritual, restore such an one in the
spirit of humility or meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.”
When somebody is overtaken in a fall, and here the idea is that they fall and
they repent. If somebody continues in sin, there is no restoration, but if they
see it as such, they repent of it, they turn around, then restoration is at
hand. And so where there is repentance, where there is confession, I’m convinced
there is restoration.
Question (continued)
Is it always sin for a divorced person to remarry?
Answer (continued)
Now, let me answer that very briefly, by saying no. There are some biblical
basis on which a divorced person can remarry.
1. Where there is adultery, the Bible says that the innocent party is released from the marriage bond, and such release, is to provide opportunity for a remarriage. Now, let me say what I believe on this. I believe if two people are married, one commits adultery, there is the right of divorce. Jesus said this in Matthew. There is that right of divorce. You have that privilege. I don’t think that that’s an absolute necessity. I think that the Bible is most pure in its statement about divorce when Malachi says, that God said, “I hate divorce.” And it was always because of the hardness of your heart, right? Deuteronomy says. So, basically just because a partner is unfaithful doesn’t mean, "Well you’ve done it, that’s it, it’s divorce, the only option." No. No, I think God’s greatest desire would be for there to be great forgiveness, great repentance on the part of the person who was guilty and then a coming back together. But sometimes that can’t happen because there is no repentance. Or the adultery becomes prolonged and it’s just the end. And our Lord said that where that occurs the person is free to remarry.
2. Now also in 1 Corinthians chapter 7 it says “If an unbeliever departs, let him depart. A brother is not in bondage in such cases…” And I believe that what that is saying is that if an unbeliever leaves a Christian, and the issue of their leaving, now watch it, the issue of their leaving, is the spiritual issue, that a believer is then free.
So I would say that a person can remarry on two basis. One is that if they lost their partner due to an adulterous situation which they were the innocent party; two, on the basis of an unbeliever who departs.
But, let me tell you something real quick, even though there is a divorce in
the case of adultery, and even though there is a divorce in the case of an
unbeliever willfully leaving, it is my own personal policy that I will not
remarry somebody, even though they are the innocent party, to another partner
until that partner who left for adultery or desertion has remarried. And the
reason I say that is this, Romans seven talks about the fact that when a new
partner is married the first relationship is completely over. But even beyond
that, my reasoning is this, I never want to second guess God. In an adulterous
situation a partner could leave and then their life could be transformed by
Jesus Christ and the best thing that could happen would be to put it back
together again. But if I go and take that person and marry them to somebody else
then I’ve eliminated that option. And just maybe I’ve second guessed God. And
people will always say, you know well they went away and it was adulterous and
they’re not interested in me and so forth and so forth, and I found this new
partner and I want to get married and so forth. And you know I say to myself,
well and maybe it’s right, and maybe it is right. But let’s wait until we know
it’s right; that God has nothing else in mind. So I would rather give God that
option. That‘s just my own personal conviction, that‘s not really a biblical
thing, because the Bible does say that when that partner leaves, that when that
person deserts there is the right to remarry. But it’s my conviction that I
would rather be patient then rush into another marriage, to wait and see if God
might put it back together again. Now those things apply to people who are
involved in the Lord’s work, people who are in the family of God, and I think to
those who are Christians married to non Christians.
Question (continued)
What about a person who was divorced and so forth before they became a believer?
Answer (continued)
You know I really have to believe that whatever happened before you were a
Christian is past, and now that you’ve come to Jesus Christ there is a whole new
life. I mean that if every thing becomes new, then every thing becomes new, and
you start from there. So I hope that helps if you are having questions about it.
Added to Bible Bulletin Board's "MacArthur’s Questions and
Answers" by:
Tony Capoccia
Bible Bulletin Board
Box 119
Columbus, New Jersey, USA, 08022
Our websites: www.biblebb.com and www.gospelgems.com
Email: tony@biblebb.com
Online since 1986