The following "Question" was asked by a member of the congregation at Grace Community Church in Sun Valley, California, and "Answered" by their pastor, John MacArthur Jr. It was transcribed by David Lee of Malaysia, from the tape GC 1301-N, titled "Bible Questions and Answers Part 16."  A copy of the tape can be obtained by writing, Word of Grace, P.O. Box 4000, Panorama City, CA 91412 or by dialing toll free 1-800-55-GRACE.  ©1981. All Rights Reserved.

Questioner

My question is how does a Christian woman react and deal with being a battered wife? Is there a line to be drawn and what point since divorce is not an option, is there any options? How does she help protect the children from physical abuse? And last, but not least, how as a Christian friend can I help encourage?

John MacArthur's Answer

I think basically, in a battered wife situation, you don’t consider divorce as an option, because the Bible doesn’t permit that, so that’s out. So you are backing up to some other alternatives. The OT says, "A wise man avoids troubles," Proverbs. God has built into us self-defense, right? If something comes flying through to the air, I flinch, I duck, I mean if somebody’s going to something to me, I am usually going to get away from them. My first thought is to get away. Then I would look back and see if they are little, but basically to get away. God has build into us just plain common sense defense mechanisms and I believe He expects you to avoid that situation. You are made in the image of God, and you have every reason in the world to protect that, to protect the dignity of your person, to protect your physical body, which is the temple of the Holy Spirit, and there is no virtue at all in standing around and getting whomped into next week and your kids either. So I think you have to get away while the pressure is on with the perspective that you’re going to come back.

I also think that you need to be very careful that you are not instrumental in provoking those kinds of situations. Because very often that can be the problem, you pushed too hard and finally the guy goes over the edge, and you really need to know how to bridle your tongue, and show love, and that’s tough, and affection, and gentleness and kindness, and tenderness, to somebody who maybe drunk and usually it is when they’re drunk or something like that. But I think if you can get yourself in harness to glorify God in the relationship and be everything you could be, "Soft answers turn away wrath." That’s the best you can do. But if having done all that, the pressure is on, go, and protect yourself until such a time as you feel that it's safe to come back. And then "God will never allow you to be tested above that you are able. But we’ll always make a way of escape.

Added to Bible Bulletin Board's "MacArthur's Questions and Answers" by:

Tony Capoccia
Bible Bulletin Board
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