I have a friend who was sexually abused by her father for 16 years and she says that's why she went into the lesbian lifestyle for the next 17 years. What are your thoughts on this?
Our experiences and environment can never be used as excuses for our sins. It is true that God creates each person with certain opportunities and capabilities. We are not created equal, for some are more intelligent, healthier, born in better circumstances (wealth or family conditions), than others. It is also true that some persons are more prone to sin when subjected to the same identical temptations. Yet for all these differences, each person is guilty before God for how they respond with their free will. Also, since each unbeliever is blind and deaf to spiritual things and slaves of sin, then your friend's response is well within what would be expected of an unbeliever. Again, each sin is counted against them and will have to be suffered for in the eternal fires of torment.
Three years ago she told me she had gotten saved.
Her lifestyle of continued sin gives clear evidence of a lack of salvation. If she was truly saved then there would have been an obvious "new creation" and a conviction and progress over sin.
I can do nothing but pray for her.
Which is the most powerful thing that you can do for her. The good news for her is that God is not asking for her permission to save her, and that her sin, no matter how great, is no hindrance to her salvation. Nothing we have done or have not done has any impact on whether God has determined to save us. Because of the precious doctrine of Election, we know that God has already determined, before the creation of the universe, who He would save (the elect) and who He would leave to their own free will choice of a life of sin. So for your friend, if she is one of God's elect, then the day will come when the Holy Spirit will awaken her and fill her with the faith to repent, believe and submit to Christ. Because she knows you and you have had opportunity to share with her, then I would even guess that the process of salvation may have already begun, for "faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ." [Romans 10:17, NIV]
She stayed alone for a couple of years and thought she was cured but apparently not. She met someone the past year has had an affair, but it is now supposed to be over, but she is full of bitterness and that is not good.
The sin of homosexuality and lesbianism is a very powerful force against a person, it is a sin that creates an unnatural passion for a person of the same sex, that is often of a greater passion than that experienced between a man and woman. The Bible says that homosexuals are "inflamed with lust for one another." Therefore, to leave that sin takes the supernatural power of the Holy Spirit.
My problem with her is that I have given her all the scripture I can about honoring God, but she says it is okay to live that way she does as long as you do not have sex.
This is great, keep giving any Scriptures that she will allow you, for faith comes from the message of Christ, the precious Word of God, and it will either convict her unto salvation, or be the very words that will condemn her on the day of Judgment. She may reject them all, but it is the Living Word and will accomplish what God has intended.
Now I know this is not right, God made male and female to dwell together not two men or two women to be in love with one another I know this is an abomination, she says I cannot give her any passages in the Bible to show her she is wrong.
I know that you must have shared this verse, for it speaks very clearly of God's plan for love relationships, "A man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh." [Genesis 2:24]. The only other option is to remain single, for there is no other intimate love relationship option.
She told me that in some commentary she read that it was OK to be in love with the same sex as long as you do not have sex.
It doesn't make any difference what she finds in a commentary or in a sermon by a false teacher. Many liberal churches today not only marry homosexuals, but even have homosexual and Lesbian ministers. All you can do is to continue to tell her the truth, for if she is elect, then the precious Spirit will use the Word to melt all her objections.
She even said had heard that David and Jonathan were homosexual.
A common justification by homosexuals, but we know that the love between David and Jonathan was one of loyalty and devotion as friends, and had nothing to do with a sexual affection.
Added to Bible Bulletin Board's "Tony Capoccia's Questions and Answers" by:
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