Duties of brothers and sisters
"Next in order to the relationship of the parent and the child, may be considered the relation which the child bears to those who are united with him by the same tie, to the same parental bosoms. If friendship be delightful, if it be above all delightful to enjoy the continued friendship of those who are endeared to us by the intimacy of many years, who can discourse with us of the frolics of the school, of the adventures and studies of the college, of the years when we first ranked ourselves with men in the free society of the world, how delightful must be the friendship of those who, accompanying us through all this long period, with a closer union than any casual friend, can go still farther back, from the school to the very nursery, who have witnessed our common pastimes; who have had an interest in every event that has related to us, and in every person that excited our love or our hatred; who have honored with us those to whom we have paid every filial honor in life, and wept with us over those whose death has been to us the most lasting sorrow of our heart. Such in its wide, unbroken sympathy, is the friendship of brothers, considered even as friendship only—and how many circumstances of additional interest does this union receive, from the common relationship to those who have original claims to our still higher love, and to whom we offer an acceptable service, in extending our affection to those whom they love. In treating of the circumstances that tend peculiarly to strengthen this tie, Cicero extends his view even to the common sepulcher that is at last to enclose us. It is indeed a powerful image, a symbol, and almost a lesson of unanimity. Every dissension of man with man, excites in us a feeling of painful incongruity. But we feel a peculiar incongruity in the discord of those, whom one roof has continued to shelter through life, and whose dust is afterwards to mingle under a single stone." Thomas Brown.
The happiness and welfare of a family, depend not exclusively on the conduct of the parents to the children, nor on the conduct of the children to the parents, but also on the conduct of the children to each other. No family can be happy where a right feeling is lacking on the part of brothers and sisters. Nothing can be a substitute for this defect, and it is of great importance that all young people should have this set in a proper light before them. Many households are a constant scene of confusion, a perpetual field of strife, and an affecting spectacle of misery, through the quarrels and ill-will of those, who as flesh of each other's flesh, and blood of each other's blood, ought to have towards each other, no feeling but that of love, and to use no words but those of kindness.
I will divide the sibling duties into three kinds—into those that are appropriate to the season of childhood—of youth—of manhood.
The general principles which are to regulate the discharge of these duties, and on which indeed they rest, are the same in reference to all seasons of life. Love, for instance, is equally necessary, whether brothers and sisters are sporting together in the nursery, dwelling together as young men and women beneath the parental roof, or descending the hill of life at the head of separate establishments and families of their own. Over and above the feelings of friendship, or of moral esteem, there must be feelings of delight in them, as related to us by the ties of the same blood; a consciousness, that by the dispensations of providence in uniting them to us by a bond of nature, and which nothing but death can dissolve, they have acquired a claim upon our efforts to make them happy, which is stronger than that of any strangers, except it be in those cases, where our brothers and sisters have by their unkind and cruel conduct, thrown off everything but their name, and choose to become a stranger to us. And even in this case, we must still consider that they are our brothers, mourn their alienation with grief, view their aberrations with pity, watch them in their wanderings with an anxious interest, and keep the way open for their return to our fellowship.
Children of the same parent who are lacking in love, are lacking in the first virtue of a brother and a sister as such. It is true, they may find companions more to their taste, considered as mere subjects of intellectual or general companionship, people of more agreeable manners, of more pleasing tempers, of more cultivated minds; but these are not brothers, nor must the perception, which in some cases it is impossible to avoid, of their great superiority in many respects, destroy that natural impulse, which the heart ought ever to feel and to obey, towards a brother or a sister. This love must of course be increased or diminished in its exercise, by circumstances, such as good or bad conduct, kindness or unkindness, but nothing must destroy the principle. The scripture, which is so replete with admonitions on almost every other subject, has said little on this—it has left nature spontaneously to send forth its sibling energies; and though containing many exhortations to the children of God to abound in brotherly love, has said little on this topic to the children of men; a reserve which seems rather to imply that the duty is so obvious and so easy, as not to need an injunction, than that the discharge of it is not obligatory or not important. A child, a youth, or a man, who feels no goings forth of his heart, no peculiar interest, no appropriate and restrictive emotions towards a brother or a sister, is lacking in one of those social virtues, which it was certainly the intention of Providence should arise out of the relative ties.
But I will now go on to state how the various sibling duties should be discharged in
CHILDHOOD.Brothers and sisters should make it a study to promote each other's happiness. They should take pleasure in pleasing each other, instead of each being selfishly taken up in promoting his own separate enjoyment. They should never envy each other's gratification; if one has a more valuable plaything than the other, the rest should rather rejoice than be sorry. Envy in children is likely to grow into a most baleful and malignant disposition. They should never take each other's possessions away, and be always willing to lend what cannot be divided, and to share what does admit of being divided. Each must do all he can to promote the happiness of the others. They should never be indifferent to each other's sorrows, much less laugh at, and sport with each other's tears and griefs. It is a lovely sight to see one child weeping because another is in distress. A boy that sees his brother or sister weep, and can be unconcerned or merry at the sight, would when he becomes a man, in all probability, see them starve without helping them.
Children should never accuse each other to their parents, nor like to see each other punished. An informer is a hateful and detestable character; but a tattle-tale against his brother or sister, is the most detestable of all spies. If, however, one should see another doing that which is wrong, and which is known to be contrary to the will of their parents, he should first in a kind and gentle manner point out the wrong, and give an intimation that if it be not discontinued, he shall be obliged to mention it—and if the warning be not taken, it is then manifestly his duty to acquaint their parents with the fact.
Children must not tease or torment one another. How much family uneasiness sometimes arises from this source—one of the children, perhaps, has an infirmity or weakness of temper, or awkwardness of manner, or personal deformity, and the rest, instead of pitying it, tease and torment the unhappy individual, until all get quarreling and crying together. Is this promoting their mutual comfort? If there be anyone of the family that is in bad health, or weakly--all the rest, instead of neglecting that one, ought to strive to the uttermost to amuse him. How pleasing a sight it is, to see a child giving up his play time, to read to, or converse with, a sick brother or sister; while nothing is more disgusting than that selfishness which will not spare a single hour for the amusement of the poor sufferer upon the bed, or the little prisoner in the nursery. As to fighting, quarreling, or calling bad names, this is so utterly disgraceful, that it is a deep shame upon those children who live in such practices. Dr. Watts has very beautifully said—
"Whatever brawls disturb the street,
There should be peace at home,
Where sisters dwell, and brothers meet
Quarrels should never come.
"Birds in their little nests agree;
And 'tis a shameful sight,
When children of one family,
Fall out, and chide, and fight."Hard names at first, and threatening words,
That are but noisy breath,
May grow to clubs and fearful swords,
To murder and to death."Children that are removed from home to school, should be both watchful over, and kind to each other. They should manifest a peculiar and kind interest in each other's comfort, and not neglect one another. It is pleasant to see two brothers or two sisters, always anxious to have each other as playmates, or as members of the little circle with which they associate, defending one another from oppression or unkindness, and striving to make their absence from home, as comfortable as they can by their mutual kindness.
I go on now to show in what way brothers and sisters should behave towards each other, during the season of
YOUTH.I now suppose them to have arrived at the age of fourteen, and state their obligations between that period and the time when they settle in life. There should of course be a tender attachment, which becomes stronger and more visible, as they acquire a greater power of reason to understand their relationship and the design of Providence in forming this relation. Instead of this, however, we sometimes see brothers and sisters become more and more indifferent to each other, as they recede farther from the period of infancy. They should now reason upon the closeness of their relationship, and let the understanding give an additional impulse to their hearts. They should be fond of each other's society, and put forth all their ingenuity to please one another.
It would have a delightful influence upon their mutual attachment, if their little separate proportion of pocket money were sometimes employed in making each other presents. How happy a state of feeling would be produced, if a sister, after having incidently expressed a wish for some little article, were to be surprised soon after by finding that a brother had, unknown to her, purchased the useful gift, and placed it upon her desk. Sisters should put forth all their assiduity to provide for brothers whatever the needle can do for their personal accommodation, and feel a hallowed delight in giving their labor to increase the comforts and conveniences of those, whom it should be their study to please.
A family of grown up children, should be the constant scene of uninterrupted harmony, where love, guided by ingenuity, puts forth all its power to please, by those mutual good offices, and minor acts of beneficence, of which every day furnishes the opportunity, and which, while they cost little in the way either of money or labor, contribute so much to the happiness of the household. One of the most delightful sights in our world, where there is so much moral deformity to disgust, and so much unkindness to distress, is a family circle, where the parents are surrounded by their children, of which, the daughters are being employed in elegant or useful work, and the elder brother reading some instructive and improving volume, for the benefit or entertainment of the whole.
Young people, seek your happiness in each other's society. What can the brother find in the circle of dissipation, or among the votaries of intemperance to compare with this? What can the sister find amid the concert of sweet sounds, that has music for the soul compared with this family harmony? Or in the glitter and fashionable confusion, and mazy dance of the ballroom, compared with these pure, calm, sequestered joys, which are to be found at the fireside of a happy family? What can the theatre yield that is comparable with this?
I would advise all young people to read "The Task," and especially the fourth book; and to read it, until they grow in love with those pure and hallowed home-born pleasures, which are at once the most attainable and the most satisfying of any to be found in our curse-stricken world.
It is of great importance to the pleasant communion of brothers and sisters, that each should pay particular attention to the cultivation of the temper. I have known all the comfort of a family destroyed by the influence of one passionate or sullen disposition. Where such a disposition unhappily exists, the subject of it should take pains to improve it, and the other branches of the family, instead of teasing, or irritating, or provoking it, should exercise all possible forbearance, and with ingenious kindness help their unfortunate relative in the difficult business of self-control.
As woman seems formed by nature to execute the offices of a nurse, sisters should be peculiarly kind and tender to sick brothers; for there are few things which tend more to conciliate affection, than sympathy with us in our sufferings, and all those gentle and willing efforts, which, if they cannot mitigate our pains, have such a power to soothe our minds and divert our attention from the sense of suffering.
Mutual respect should be shown by brothers and sisters; all coarse, vulgar, degrading terms and modes of address should be avoided; and nothing but what is courteous, either done or said. The communion of siblings should be marked, not indeed by the stiffness of ceremony, nor the coldness of formality, not the cautious timidity of suspicion--but by the politeness of good manners, blended with all the tenderness of love. It is peculiarly requisite also, that while this is maintained at home, there should not be disrespectful neglect in company. It is painful for a sister to find herself more neglected than the greatest stranger, and thus exposed to others as one in whom her brother feels no interest.
Brothers ought not, even in lesser matters, to be tyrants over their sisters, and expect from them the subservience of slaves. The poor girls are sometimes sadly treated, and rendered miserable by the caprice, and pranks, and iron yoke of some insolent and lordly boy. Where the parents are living, they ought not to allow such oppression. Of such a despot let all young women beware, for he who is a tyrant to his sister, is sure to be a tyrant also to a wife!
It is of great consequence, that brothers and sisters should maintain epistolary correspondence when absent from each other. It must be a very strong love which separation, especially when it is for a long time, does not diminish. Flames burn brightest in the vicinity of each other. An affectionate letter received from an absent friend, tends to fan the dying spark of affection. They who can be long separated without such a bond as this, are already in a state of indifference to each other, and are in rapid progress to still wider alienation.
Brothers and sisters should be very careful, not to become estranged from each other after the death of their parents; of which there is always some danger. While one parent remains, though the other be gone to the sepulcher, there is a common center of family affection still left, by drawing near to which, the members are kept near to each other; but when this survivor has also departed, the point of union is gone, and the household is likely, without great watchfulness to be divided and distracted.
How often does this happen by the division of the family property?* The grave has scarcely closed over the parental remains, before strife, confusion, and every evil work begin in reference to the parental possessions. To guard against this, the father should ever have his will made, a will made upon the obvious principles of wisdom and equity. Any attempt on the part of one child, to turn a parent's mind from the line of strict impartiality and equity towards the others; any advantage taken of opportunities of more frequent access, to the parental ear and prejudices, to gain more than a just share of his property, is an act so base, so foul, and wicked, as to deserve the most severe, and impassioned, and indignant denunciation. Even in this case, however, the injured branches of the family, should not so far resent the matter, as to withdraw from all communion with the supplanter—remonstrate they may, and abate something of their esteem and love they must, but still they are required by scripture to forgive him, and not to cherish hatred, or to manifest revenge. Unless in cases of unusual and extraordinary greed, the sibling communion ought not to be stopped by unfair advantages of this kind.
* This, perhaps, rather belongs to the third division of the subject. There are instances, however, in which an unequal division of property, is not an unjust one, and ought not to be felt as such, by the party which receives the lesser share. If one child has become possessed of wealth from another source, I do not think that he ought to consider himself unfairly dealt with, if he does not receive so large a portion of the family property, as his brothers and sisters do. Or if there be one branch of the family, prevented, by the visitations of Providence from all active labor, the rest ought not to think it unfair, if a parent makes a larger provision for this deformed or helpless child, than for the other branches. The alienation of brothers and sisters on account of financial matters, is usually a matter of deep disgrace to them all; not only to the greedy spoiler, but also to the rest.
But in what terms shall I depict the atrocious wickedness of a villainous brother, who, after the death of their parents, would employ his influence to wheedle and swindle an unmarried sister out of her property, and reduce her to poverty and dependance, to indulge his own greed, or to avert calamity from himself? Such wretches have existed, and do exist; who, taking advantage of a sister's strong affection, combined with her ignorance of money matters, never cease, until, by all the arts of subtlety, they have got out of her possession the last shilling she has in the world; and then, perhaps, when she has nothing more for them to pilfer, abandon the victim of their cruelty, with the remorselessness of a highwayman, to poverty and misery. Let such monsters remember, that there is one in heaven whose eye has been upon all their wicked deceits and cruel robbery, and who, for all these things will bring them into judgment. It is an act of cruelty in any brother, who, without any dishonest intention perhaps, would wish to jeopardize the property of a sister, in order either to increase his own gains, or to avert his own dreaded misfortunes. She may be very unfitted to struggle with poverty, and altogether disqualified for earning support by her own industry, and therefore ought not to be exposed to the danger of losing her property. Cases do occur sometimes, in which it may be proper, and even necessary, for the property of unmarried sisters to be employed in the trade of their brothers; but as a general rule, it is unadvisable—and where it does happen, the latter should let all their conduct be conducted on the principles of the greatest caution, the most rigid integrity, and the noblest generosity.
Brothers ought ever, after the death of their parents, to consider themselves as the natural guardians of unmarried sisters; their advisers in difficulty, their comforters in distress, their protectors in danger, their sincere, tender, liberal, and unchanging friends, amid all the scenes and vicissitudes of life. It is rarely advisable that a sister should permanently dwell with a married brother; but then, even the much stronger claims of the wife, ought not to cancel or throw into oblivion those of the sister.
I will now suppose the case of one or more branches of the family, who are brought by divine grace, to be partakers of true religion; and point out what is their duty to the rest, and what the duty of the rest to them. In reference to the former, it is manifestly their solemn and irrevocable obligation, to seek, by every affectionate, scriptural, and judicious effort, the real conversion of those of the family who are yet living without heartfelt religion. O how often has the leaven of piety, when by divine mercy and power it has been laid in the heart of one of the family, spread through nearly the whole household. How often has sibling love, when it has soared to its most sublime height, and with a heaven-kindled ambition aimed at the loftiest object which benevolence can possibly pursue, by seeking the salvation of a brother's soul, secured its prize, and received its rich reward.
Young people, whose hearts are under the influence of piety, but whose hearts also bleed for those, who, though they are the children of the same earthly parent, are not yet the children of your Father in heaven, I call upon you by all the love you bear your brothers and sisters; by all the affection you bear for your parents; by all the higher love you bear to God and Christ; to seek by every proper means the conversion of those, who, though bound to you by the ties of nature, are not yet united by the bond of grace. Make it an object with you to win their souls. Pray for it constantly. Put forth in your own example all the beauties of holiness. Seek for the most undeviating godly consistency, since a single lack of this would only strengthen the prejudice you are anxious to subdue. Let them see your religion in your conscientiousness, your joy, your humility, your meekness, your love. In all the general duties of life, be more than ordinarily exact. Win their affections by the kindest and most conciliating conduct. Avoid all consciousness of superiority. Attempt not to scold them out of their sins. Avoid the language of reproach. Draw them with the cords of love. Now and then recommend to their perusal a valuable book. When they are absent write to them on the subject of religion. But at the same time, do not disgust them by boring them with religion. Seize favorable opportunities, and wisely improve them. Point them to eminently happy, consistent, and useful Christians. Comply with all their wishes that are lawful, but give not up one atom of your consistency. Pliancy on your part to meet their tastes and pursuits, if they are contrary to God's word, will only disgust them; mild firmness will secure their respect. And crown all with earnest prayer for that grace, without which no means can be successful. How do you know, but you shall gain your brother? And O what a conquest!
And what shall be said to the unconverted party? Shall such means be unsuccessful? Will you resist this holy, benevolent influence? Will you oppose these efforts to draw you to heaven? Will you leave your sister to travel alone to heaven, and determine to separate from her forever, and pursue your course to perdition? Will you seek the dreadful, the fatal distinction, of being alone in your family as the enemy of God, the captive of Satan? Shall a sister's solicitude for your salvation, and all the active efforts which it puts forth, be only a savor of death unto death to you? Pause and ponder, young man! Alter your purpose—take her by the hand, and say to her, "your affection has conquered, I will go with you, for I know that God is with you."
But, perhaps, instead of this, you are a persecutor. What! a persecutor of religion, and of a sister, at the same time? Yes, you reject with scorn these efforts for your salvation, and treat her with ridicule and unkindness by whom they are made. Is it so? What! wicked enough for this? What! carry your enmity to piety so far as to embitter the life of a sister, for no other reason than because she bows her heart to its influence? Recollect, the contest is not between you and her--but between you and God. It is not as a sister, but as a Christian, that she is the object of your displeasure, and therefore your ill will is against religion, and if against religion, then against God, for religion is the image of God in the soul of his rational creatures. Did you ever read or hear that fearful denunciation? if not, read it now—"Woe to him who contends with his maker." This woe is uttered against every persecutor of religion, and therefore is against you!
The responsibility of elder brothers and sisters, especially that of the FIRST BORN, is great indeed. They are looked up to by the younger branches of the family as examples, and their example has great influence, in some cases greater than that of the parent—it is the example of one more upon a level with themselves, more near to them, more constantly before them, than that of the parent, and is on these accounts more influential. It is of immense consequence, therefore, to their juniors, how these conduct themselves. If they are bad, they are likely to lead all the rest astray—if good, they may have great power in leading them aright. They bring companions, books, recreations, before the others--which are proper or improper according as their own taste is. It is a most distressing spectacle to see an elder brother or sister training up younger ones, by his own conduct and precept, in the ways of wickedness. Such a youth is a dreadful character—like Satan he goes about seeking whom by his temptations he may destroy; but worse, in some respects, more wicked and more cruel than his prototype, he marks out his own brother as the victim of his cruelty, and the dupe of his wiles! Whole families, have in some cases, been schooled in iniquity by one unprincipled elder son! What will such a brother have to answer for in the day of judgment, and what will be his torment in hell, when the souls of those whom he has ruined shall be near him, and by their ceaseless reproaches become his eternal tormentors!
In other cases, what a blessing to a family has been a steady, virtuous, and pious elder brother or sister! Many a weak and sickly mother has given daily thanks to God for a daughter, who by her attentions was a kind of second mother to the younger members of the family, for whom she did her uttermost to train them up in her own useful and holy habits. Many a father has felt with equal gratitude the blessing of having in his firstborn son, not only a help to himself in the cares of business, but in the work of education; a son who lent all the power of an amiable and religious example, to form the characters of his younger brothers.
Let such young people consider their responsibility, and at the same time let those who are their juniors in the family consider their duty. If they have a good example in their elder brothers and sisters, they should make it not only the object of attention and admiration, but also of imitation; but on the other hand, if, unhappily, the conduct of their seniors be bad, let them not follow them in their evil course; let no threats, no bribes, no persuasions, induce them to comply with the temptation to do what is wrong.
I have now to allude to the discharge of sibling duties during the whole period of our lives, after the season of youth has passed away--
ADULTHOOD. This has been anticipated in part already. Families are soon broken up—the parents die, the children marry and form separate establishments, and bring around them separate families of their own. This division of the original stock does not however destroy, although it necessarily must weaken the sibling tie.Great care is necessary, however, that when the center of sibling charities is gone, and each child becomes himself a center of similar emotions and impulses, the interest of brothers and sisters in each other, does not altogether cease. Brothers and sisters are brothers and sisters still, though they dwell in different quarters of the globe, are each at the head of families of their own, are distinguished in their circumstances by the varieties of affluence and poverty, and have attained to the age of threescore years and ten—and the tie that unites them ought to be felt coiling round their hearts, and its influence ought to be seen in producing all those tender offices, which a common relationship to the same parent, certainly demands.
The next generation may, from various causes, lose their interest in each other. Love for remote relations, often becomes less and less. Brothers and sisters ought, however, to keep up, as long as they live, their mutual love. They should not allow new, and it is confessed, still nearer relations, to produce a total oblivion of, or alienation from, each other. If dwelling in distant parts of the kingdom, correspondence should be maintained, sympathy in their mutual joys and sorrows should be cherished, occasional visits, as opportunity might allow, should be paid, and everything done by mutual kind offices, to comfort each other, on the rough and stormy journey of life.
If dwelling together in the same town, their communion should be such as to constrain spectators to exclaim, "Behold how good and pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity." There should be that tenderness, which would lead to all the delicate attentions that affection delights to pay, and at the same time that confidence, which would prevent offence from being taken. How utterly disgraceful is it to see brothers and sisters dwelling together in the same town, yet living in a state of continual strife, and sometimes in an utter suspension of all friendship. In such cases there must be faults on both sides, though not perhaps, in equal proportions.
Those who marry into a family should be very cautious not to carry discord into it. Not infrequently has it happened, that brothers have been embroiled by their wives, and sisters by their husbands; and they who until they were married, scarcely ever had an angry word from each other--scarcely ever lived in peace afterwards. Happy and honorable is that family, which, though it consists of numerous branches, and those, perhaps, nearly all married, and dwelling in the same vicinity, maintains not indeed a state of coldness and formal communion, of which the highest praise is that it is free from strife, but a fellowship of sympathy, helpfulness and love.
If by the vicissitudes of life, and the various allotments of divine Providence, one branch of the family has been more successful than the rest, peculiar care must be exercised, that the latter should not expect too much from him in the way of attention and relief, nor the former yield too little. For any man to be ashamed of his poor brothers and sisters, to treat them with cold neglect or insulting pride, discovers a littleness of mind which deserves contempt, and a depravity of heart which merits our severest indignation—it is at once ingratitude to God and cruelty to man.
It must be admitted, however, that it is extremely difficult to meet the demands, and satisfy the expectations of poor relations, especially in those cases where their poverty is the fruit of their own indolence or extravagance. They have claims, it is acknowledged, and a good brother or sister will readily allow, and cheerfully meet them; but it must be for prudence, under the guidance of affection, to adjust their amount. It is unquestionable, however, that though there are some few, who have most imprudently impoverished themselves, to help a needy, perhaps an undeserving brother or sister; the multitude have erred on the other side. Men or women of wealth, who choose to live in celibacy, and who have needy brothers and sisters, are cruel and hard-hearted creatures, if they allow such relatives to lack anything for their real necessities. "But if one of you has enough money to live well, and sees a brother or sister in need and refuses to help—how can God's love be in that person?" 1 John 3:17. And what shall be said of those, who, in bequeathing their property, forget their poor relations? The man who passes over a poor brother or sister and their families, to endow a hospital, or enrich the funds of a religious society, to which, perhaps, he gave next to nothing while he lived, offers robbery for a burnt offering.
I have now said all that appears to me to be important on the subject of sibling duties. Is it necessary to call in the aid of MOTIVES to enforce the discharge of such obligations? If so,
Let your parents' comfort be a plea with you. How often have the hearts of such been half broken by the feuds of their children? And even where the calamity has not gone to this extent, their cup has been embittered by the wranglings, quarrels, and perpetual strifes of those who ought to have lived in undisturbed affection.
Your own comfort and honor are involved in an attention to these duties. You cannot neglect the claims of a brother or a sister, without suffering a diminishing in your happiness, or your reputation, or both.
The interests of society demand of you an attention to sibling claims. As a son, you learn to be a good subject, as a brother, you learn to be a good citizen. Rebellious children are traitors in the bud—and he who has none of the right feelings of a brother, is training up for a patricide (murder of one's own father).
And as to religion—sibling duties necessarily arise out of its general principles, are enforced by its prevailing spirit more than by particular precepts, and are recommended by some of its most striking examples, for the first murder which stained the earth with human gore, sprung from a lack of brotherly affection; and the family in which the Son of God found his loved retreat on earth, was that, where in the people of Mary, and Martha, and Lazarus, sibling love was embodied and adorned!
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